November 25, 2008

"To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did"

"When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better"

"This will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you"

Our cell phone bill came yesterday.

I can see just how much of a relationship he had created with this girl.

It really hurts.

A deep, down in the depths of my soul hurt.

I feel very broken.

I am not sure how to survive each day.

Every minute of every day is so hard. Every second hurts.

I have to be ok, because what would happen to my son if I wasn't?

His father abandoned him. He chose another woman over him.

He chose another woman over me.

That hurts...a lot.

It hurts more than I can describe in words.

I hate him for doing this to me...to us.

I shouldn't hate.

Sometimes it is hard to see the future, see what is there. The future is scary.

I knew my future....I loved my future.

My future is gone.

I pretend all day long. I pretend to be ok. I pretend to be happy.

I pretend.

I can't pretend when night comes.

Night is when I am all alone.

I don't like to be alone.

I hate to be alone.

I hate not hearing "I love you" I miss the words.

I miss his smells, his sounds, his everything.

I used to be everything to him. Now I am nothing.

It is so hard to be nothing.

I remember my future and how happy it was.

I can't see my future right now.

That scares me...