December 3, 2008

Yesterday, for a little while, I felt strong.

I've been thinking about what purposes God has for my life and why He is bringing me through this valley of darkness.

Perhaps there is a purpse.

Perhaps the purpose is far beyond my understanding.

Perhaps there is a bigger reason.

I feel like I need to believe that.

I don't know why I felt strong for a little while yesterday

Maybe God was carrying me.

Maybe I remembered the wonderful parts of my life.

My son.



I love my son than anything in this world.

But I still feel alone.

He told me yesterday that he feels nothing for me.

That hurts...a lot.

It hurts more than I can write in words.

What terrible words he says to me.

So why do I still hang on?

Why do I still wait for moments when he calls?

All he does is hurt me.

So why do I still hang on?

The truth is... I don't know.

I don't understand.

I feel very alone.