November 20, 2008

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" (Isaiah 41:10)

Yesterday I had a sign of hope.

I went to a woman's luncheon. It was a last minute decision that I really wasn't going to do. I really didn't have the time, but for some reason I did anyway.

Everything happens for a reason.

The speaker was suppose to be on balancing family and career.

I am struggling balancing my career and raising my son by myself, and dealing with my relationship turmoil.

She told a personal story.

She described her life 1 year ago.

She basically described my life today.

Young children, marriage on the rocks, talk of divorce, demanding job.

There is a reason for everything.

There is a reason I was there.

There is a reason I met this woman.

She is a newscaster on TV.

Everyday the world watches her.

They watched her, not knowing that her world was falling apart.

I feel like my world is falling apart. I hope that people can't look at me at see that.

She talked....I held back tears.

I talked with her afterwards, despite the fact that I knew my co-workers would wonder. I no longer care what others think. I just knew there was a reason.

I talked to her...told her the "short" version of my story.

I found someone who understood.

Who truly understood my pain, emptiness, longing, anger, sadness.

She understood how hard it is to force myself to face each day.

"My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest" (Exodus 33:14)

I had rest, if only for a minute

I found someone who understood.

I needed someone who understood.

I made it through yesterday and for a moment I had a glimmer of hope because she was happy today.

Maybe I can be happy again too.

A moment can mean a lot.